Lily-Rose cried and Mummy shouted and her face made cross shapes, and the noises and colours in my head made fireworks and I jumped and flapped and laughed! I love fireworks.
Mummy put me in my room and said "You will not listen to Lily-Rose crying!" I like my room, with the swing seat and the big blue ball and my green animal quilt.
After lunch Mummy and me went for a walk by the river, but I wanted to stay in my purple chair. The sun sparkled on the water and the path and in the trees, and if I just opened my eyes a tiny tiny bit, the shapes and colours went all fuzzy.
With my toes I wiggled my shoes off and let them fall on the path. I do not like shoes... they make my feet all heavy and stiff.
Later Mummy said, "Zac! Where are your shoes?" and we had to go back and find them.
No, I do NOT like shoes, or sandals, or slippers, or trainers, or wellies. At home I wear my socks, even in the garden, even if it's raining or cold. I like to feel what is beneath my feet... grass, pebbles, carpet, a baby's face.We have lost count of the number of pairs of shoes we have bought for Zac over the years. He cannot bear having them on and will always find a way to get them off and "lose" them.
The violence towards his sister is obviously a much more serious concern. One aspect of Autism is a lack of empathy towards others, and Zac really doesn't appreciate or care that his actions cause his sister pain. To him, the "reward" for hurting her is her crying - it gives him a huge sensory stimulus, in just the same way as he enjoys switching a light switch on and off, on and off.
Our current approach is to remove him from the situation as fast as possible, so he doesn't get the reward of hearing her cry. We are obviously trying to prevent these "attacks" from happening in the first place, by giving Zac one-to-one attention as much as possible - but occasionally (as happened today) we are just not quick enough.
Key:
WHITE text is me, "speaking" as Zac
GREEN text is direct quotes from Zac
GREY text is background commentary or explanation
It must be hard for you when he becomes violent with your daughter. But it sounds like you are doing a great job.
ReplyDeleteTwinkle goes through phases with her shoes...sometimes she will do her best to take them off (and socks) and other times she doesnt know she has them on.
I see you dont have a major buggy, has he become too big? Twinkle has a major buggy, she rocks in it. and she can 'escape' from it too, so i have to be careful. In the previous post i see you have a yellow vest for him, can i ask where you got it from? xx
Zac used to have a major buggy but after a while the hospital said his thigh bones had grown too long and he didn't have enough support, so they measured him up for a wheelchair.
ReplyDeleteHe relies on it more and more as a "safe" place to be when we are out. Without it, it would be impossible to go in shops or eat at a restaurant, both of which are very difficult even with the chair, but we try to do as many "normal" activities as we can with Zac.
Zac's yellow high-viz vest is from Ikea! On the back we have written in fabric pen "I have Autism. If found alone, please call..." with my mobile number on it. Zac has escaped too many times, and will just disappear over the horizon given half a chance. We had a really serious episode last year where he escaped from the house for 20 minutes and the police found him in the co-op eating fruit off the shelves! Long story...
Thank you for that, i will check out ikea :) it's a really good idea. The wrist bands you can get are not suitable for my girl as she doesnt like to wear them (sensory) and they arent really noticable even if she did want to wear it.
ReplyDeleteIt is so scarey isnt it?! Twinkle 'escaped' after my sons left the side gates open and she was found heading towards a train track!!! i almost had a nervous breakdown and since then we have had alarms fitted to warn us if the doors or side gates have been opened or left open.
Thanks again, im getting one of those vests!! :)
xx